"In a controversial announcement due to be made later today, Angus Half-Bottle, chief executive of Western Isles Hospital, will appoint Tolsta resident and former wild child, Lexy MacQueen as managing director of the recently renovated multi-million pound Neurological unit. Lexy brings with her many years of hospital experience. She was a regular resident on the ward during her teenage years, having repeatedly committed crimes against the Sabbath. Following months of intensive treatment for persistently hanging out her washing on a Sunday and using bolt croppers to release the swings in her local play park for Stornoway's restless golfers, a reformed Lexy went on to create the island's first, and so far only, hospital radio station, Radio Rental. The station specialises in 130BPM hardcore drum and bass, with a smattering of dubstep and grime. DJ Bedpan is taking over Lexy's 6pm to 8pm visiting hours show, 'Testing Your Patients'. It's not all change though; Jori Kim continues to read excerpts from the Argos catalogue every Sunday between noon and 1:30pm. Be sure to tune in to his programme this coming Sunday, for the all important garden furniture section.
PS... Radio Rental - rhyming slang for 'mental' (crazy / angry). Coined from the well known chain of TV hire shops in the UK. e.g. "You wait till Morag hears Lexy boarded the Sunday ferry again, she'll go Radio Rental!"
Lexy is proud to be a member of the Heb Girlz
Model: Sunny Layne c/o Deathrockstock